Crawling out from the cave

I have to say, being somewhat heat sensitive, that this latest heatwave just about made me go bonkers. My $48 blow-up pool saved me! At times like this being a work-at-homer has its drawbacks. I found myself obsessively checking temperatures around the world, comparing, and then, when I could take it no more, I stared, blinking and non-comprehending, at the hastily made sign in front of the Home Depot store: "No Air-Conditioners. No Fans. Only Ceiling Fans. Sorry." It took a few moments for it to sink in, and my jaunty walk evaporated like the sweat forming between my tightening shoulders.

I was undaunted. My fingers flipped upon the celphone. 4-1-1. No luck. Nothing at Wal-Mart. Nada at Lowe's, Costco or OSH. I was stumped. Target, they'll have one! I thought. Not to be! I drove back to the house and paced, sweaty, like a caged animal. I wondered how many others were doing the same thing. What really gets me is when the nights don't go below 80 degrees. I'm a fresh air freak, and always have to have air moving, especially at night. I was getting anxious, thinking how I would stave off the panic, as this particular complaint runs in my family. Ah, hah! I'd call...yes, Best Buy! No one would think of calling them.

Yes, they carried them...! No, they were out-of-stock. Completely and utterly. In all their stores. Just like the other chains.

How would I bear it? I called Target's 800 number. Yes, I could order one online. My joy quickly evaporated. It would take 5-7 days to arrive. I did it anyway. I ordered a new wall unit. My old one was failing when I moved in this place two years ago, but felt like an old friend, and I hadn't replaced it. You had to stand in front of it to feel anything, but if I started it early in the day and the temperatures didn't get too hot, it worked. This day it was really not putting out. I was admonishing myself. I was contrite. I was desperate, and prayed for a cooling trend. Then I hoped for enough sanity to make it through. Either that or I'd be at the Krikorian 7 days a week.

A long-time Monrovian stopped by my house the next day. I told him of my odyssey and of the absurdity of it all. Could he believe it? Every large chain sold out, nationwide?

He shrugged it off. "Oh, that happens every time there is a heatwave. That's just how it is."

I wanted to expound, "Pshaw!" and stamp my foot, but I could only muster a look of disgust by wrinkling my nose. "Well, this won't be happening to me again," I said. "I'm getting a new air-conditioner, and it will be here in a few days."

Just in time for the cooler weather.